Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Hell's Kitchen Recap Episode 12

Episode 12

"Another 'to be continued?' THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

This show is officially an insult to not just entertainment but to food in general.  In what world is it a good idea to have Ramsay try each team's menu just 30 minutes before dinner service?  Is that even remotely respectable to the customers?  How on earth does that reflect Gordon Ramsay's "world class standards"? Oh, that's right, it's because Ramsay was in 50 other cities tending to his 50 other restaurants/television shows so he couldn't get back to HK to try the food any earlier and he's surrounded by yes men who agree with whatever he says.  You know how he's been doing the whole "The person leaving Hell's Kitchen is...Bob...BACK IN LINE!!!" for years?  Yeah, it was cool the first few times but 200 episodes later it's kinda lame. That's what happens when someone has complete control over something - the product suffers. It's like Hotmail - used to be a good service once upon a time but now it's just covered in dog vomit.

Anyway, onto whatever the hell happened during this useless show with these boring people:

Justin and Brian: They've got a bromance going on according to Robyn. Why is this not surprising?

Brian: Little bitch complaining about Tiffany taking over his failed station. I kinda just wanna get out the box of tissues and cry along with him.  

Psycho Bitch Tiffany: I like how she says this competition is about the customers and the food. This coming from a girl who licked some cooking utensils and then stuck them back into the batter.

Wing Eating Contest: Seriously? They brought in Joey Chestnut? How much did they have to pay this guy to hang out on this stupidass show?  Just give him the prize now.

Chefs and Smoking: Why does every single chef in HK smoke? I've heard over the years that it's calming given the stressful conditions that chefs have to work through.  But it also ruins your pallet, as evidenced by Kimmie: "I'll sit out because I just smoked this morning." But like, why continue to do it if it messes with your sense of taste, which is kinda critical when, you know, you work with food.  Maybe someone can help me to better understand.


"You gotta love Brian. You just gotta." Um, no.

Blind Taste Test: This is always one of my favorite challenges because it's a lot harder than it seems, but...how can you mistake turkey for tofu?...I guess Psycho Bitch Tiffany has a lot of experience eating soggy diapers...Justin the first in HK history to go 4-for-4?  Clearly he cheated. 

Kimmie vs. Barbie: How many times has this chick said "stupid bitch" and "I've had it" so far this season? Holy crap, she's like an old record stuck on repeat. I did like Barbie's "you haven't jogged a day in your life!" insult. 

Further proof that Gordon Ramsay is spreading himself too thin: A special delivery of an I-Pad with a pre-recorded message from Ramsay saying that tomorrow's service will be Red vs. Blue menu.  This just continues to cement the fact that this show isn't what it used to be.  In the past he would have been there to tell the chefs in person, but with his 3 other shows on Fox, 198 restaurants, and not to mention his shows in the UK, the dude needs to be in like a million places at once.  Quality management going way down.

Dana straight out of the shower. Yow!

Kimmie: "I really wanna get my thoughts and ideas on this menu!" That'll be a pretty blank menu.

Brian and Justin 2: "Me and Justin are completely on the same page." I guess that's pretty easy when you have two generic white guys with the personalities of a couple pieces of string cheese.

Okay, I'm 30 minutes in (out of 40) and they haven't started dinner service yet.  I sense another to be continued coming...

Chef Ramsay needs to approve each team's menu 30 minutes before dinner service? In what world is that a good idea and even remotely respectable for their customers? Oh, that's right, it's because Gordon Ramsay has too many things to do and couldn't try the dishes any earlier and is surrounded by yes men who approve every dumb idea that he comes up with. 

OH WHOOOOOOOA!!!! TO BE CONTINUED YET AGAIN!!!!  I can't WAIT to see how this INTENSITY pays off!!!!