Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Hell's Kitchen Recap Episode 10

Episode 10

Ladies and gentlemen, one of your season 10 front runners

Announcer: "The women have suffered a big casualty." I guess in Kimmie's case that may be an understatement.

Kimmie's injury: Didn't I say yesterday that Kimmie wasn't going anywhere because of the burn?  So the big cliffhanger they gave us was resolved within two minutes of the next episode. Bite me, editors.

Psycho Bitch Tiffany: "I don't like kids. At all." I don't think Psycho Bitch Tiffany likes anybody. At all.  But seriously, I swear this chick is stoned off her ass during every episode.

Ramsay to Brian: "You make something so simple look so difficult." That's generally what happens when you have an IQ equivalent to the fat content of fat free milk.

Patrick Van Halen: Okay, so, you know how in the advertisement for this episode they tried to play up Patrick royally screwing up? And they had him being "thrown out" of the kitchen? And cursing his mistake? From what they were playing up you'd think he'd served his left testicle on a plate to the Queen of Denmark or something. But no - the reality is he said two filet instead of three. That's it. That was the horrible mistake he made that they were playing up in the promo. Two filet instead of three and OMGERZ PATRICKZZ THROWN OUT!!1111

I genuinely feel bad for Van Halen.  I think he was one of the early front runners but he hasn't really risen to the occasion and whenever he says he's gonna fight back it's hard to believe he's got what it takes.

Royce: The Rolls Royce of Cooking...okay, you know what?  That's pretty good.  He's one of the few people who has both a personality and an attitude.

I love it how hillbillies bob their heads when they yell.  It's really funny.

Robyn: "Keep my friends close, keep my enemies closer. That's why I was keeping you close, Kimmie!" WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA ROBYN!! WHOOOOOOA!!! THEM ARE SOME PRETTY STRONG WORDS DER!!!!!  Whoa, man. I gotta step back. That was just harsh.

Dana said it best "It is so ghetto right now. JUST SHUT UP!!" I couldn't agree more, Dana.

Brian: "Justin's strong. Clemenza's strong. Brian's strong. I'm not surprised that we're the last three left." That's weird, Brian, because I for one AM surprised that you're one of those three.

So cleaning one's ears out is what caused Robyn to snap and get into Kimmie's face. I'd be afraid of what Robyn would have done if Kimmie had said to kiss her ass.

I love how Kimmie says BITCH, I mean she really pronounces the B with such passion like she really means it.

Wait, Psycho Bitch Tiffany can HEAR eye rolling? WHOA! She totally IS stoned off her ass!

Patrick Van Halen was sent home because, as Ramsay said, "he talked a good game but couldn't back it up with his cooking." Pretty accurate statement.  He did talk a good game and I was rooting for him but he just didn't have it.

So Robyn's on the Blue Team now. Maybe this is where the show finally starts to get interesting. I wouldn't be surprised to see Christina and Dana in the finals, but given the horrible way this season is going it'll probably be Brian.

Again, one of your probable front runners

The thing is - if they hadn't fed us this ridiculous "to be continued" again, and condensed the last two episodes into one, it probably would have been decent. 

Hell's Bitchin' no doubt.