Tuesday, March 29, 2016

What Do Red Bananas Taste Like?

Picked up some red bananas at Sprouts over a week ago. Yes, bananas come in red in case you didn't know:

I had these once as a kid and I remember them being sweeter than regular bananas, so you can imagine my surprise when I bit into one and found it to be the equivalent of eating a piece of chalk. All of this was after I had to practically perform a surgical procedure just to get the darn peel off. 

Something didn't seem right, so I contacted Dole to ask them how long it takes their red bananas to ripen. This is the response I received:

Thank you for contacting Dole Food Company.
We appreciate your taking time to write to us. Dole Food Company is not affiliated with the product you referenced. We wish you luck in finding your answer.
Thank you for allowing us to be of assistance.
Please do not reply to this email. It has been computer generated. If you have any additional comments, please contact us again at http://www.dole.com.
Dole Consumer Response
010470526A / DCR/cl

Wait, it's not coming in clearly...


Must have been Joe Dole's first day on the job or something. So yeah. Anyone know how long it takes these red bananas to ripen? I tried one the night I purchased them and it was awful. I tried another one a week later and it wasn't any different.

If you know anything about red bananas Tweet the info to @Wyld_Stallyn

To the filmmakers of Bill and Ted 3 - I'll consider trading the handle for a cameo in the movie, just FYI. :)


Dole responded to my Tweet saying that yes, this is absolutely their product (what gave it away?) and also sent me this video which prominently features the red bananas. Apparently they're ripe then they turn purple. Just the answer I was looking for! 

Monday, March 14, 2016

Chocomize Custom Chocolate Bars

Chocomize has been well documented on this blog over the years, but whenever a bar is in my possession I see it as just one more opportunity to deliver quality food porn to the already overly-saturated Internets.

As you can see, it was my birthday recently and a Chocomize bar is seriously an awesome gift for anyone. Behold:

What makes Chocomize bars an awesome gift is that A) they're delicious B) they're more than affordable and C) you can customize them, which means you can cater a bar to the giftee's liking. Thought goes into these things! 

The above diabetic beauty features the following:

1) Nerds: I like going with Nerds because they're small and plentiful, meaning there's gonna be more of them and you'll get a taste in every bite.

2) Gummy Bears: The softness of the gummy is a nice contrast to the hardness of the chocolate, plus it brings an additional fruity flavor into the mix. What can I say? I'm a fruity kind of guy.

3) Pop Rocks: You can't really see them but they're there. Much like Nerds, they're small and you're bound to get them in every bite, plus they bring a little zest to the presentation.

4) Junior Mints: Other than the cool and refreshing chocolate minty flavor, these things also tend to either melt or break apart, thus making the bar a colossal mess of sugary goo and stickiness - which is all rockets to me.

5) White Chocolate Birthday Plaque: Because, you know, it's my birthday. Duh.