Cock Cola - as the only "normal" soda of the bunch, this one should have been the best since it's basically just cola. But it was flat and boring. The funny name is all it had going for it.
Martian Poop - I expected this one to be fruity and sweet. Instead it was moderately fruity and tart. Tasted kind of like a Jones Soda with the aftertaste of a tennis ball that had been mauled on by a rhino's butt.
Cucumber Soda - this one was nasty. Potent smell and a really terrible taste. What's interesting is that I've seen people with drinks that have cucumber slices floating in them. So I actually had expectations for this one going in that it may taste like something not horrible. But I was wrong. Oh so wrong.
Pumpkin Pie Soda - just weird. Tasted like pumpkin. Not much else to say.
Bacon Soda - rancid. Really powerful smell and a repulsive taste. It's almost as if someone drained a pan of bacon fat and carbonated it.
The thing is, though, none of these blew us out of the water from any end of the spectrum. They obviously didn't taste good but they weren't "holy crap I gotta puke" disgusting also.
So if you wanna puke - check out the bacon soda.
Thanks for reading!