Tuesday, April 3, 2012

"Domino's CEO Patrick Doyle Sounds Like A Douche"

One of the most common Google searches that brings people to Greg's Gourmet is some variation of Domino's CEO J. Patrick Doyle being a douche, scumbag, and/or a jerk. This stems from a couple rants I did on the guy, such as including him in the "Top 5 Spokespersons I'd Like to Punch in the Face" as well as ripping his lame commercials in "Food Commercials That I Hate Volume II".  Well, Dirtbag Doyle is at it again with a new horrible Domino's ad.  Check it out:


"At a big company, new ideas don't usually come from the local store level." 

Woooowowowowowowow. If we needed any more proof that this cockroach is a condescending, useless prick who likes to roll around in dog doo-doo then that was it. Keep in mind, this is the joker who, in a commercial from last year, introduced a new item called "Tate's Chicken" and basically put the weight of the entire company, success or failure, on the shoulders of this one little nobody named Tate. And in the commercial Tate himself said he wasn't excited at all about this. If this Tate guy isn't excited about the new product that you're pitching then why the hell should anyone buy it?

Moving on: Bob LaRichie? Who the hell is this guy, a used car salesman? Why the flip is he appearing in a Domino's commercial, cited only as "Brian's Friend"? What does he have to do with anything?!?!?!

Then Lauryn, Brian's employee, says that Brian should be CEO of Domino's...and she wasn't kidding. That's some loyalty, huh, Patrick? I wonder why someone from the local store level, a friend of the dude with the new idea, would even consider recommending him for CEO over you. Maybe it's because, you know, you basically called all of your local store minions a bunch of uninspired idiots. 

"HURHURHURHURHURHURHno." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU'RE SO FUNNY, PATRICK. FOR A SECOND THERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA AGREE LOLOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOL!!!!1111

Seriously, what a scumbag. I love how no one in the commercials ever agrees with him on anything. There was that two medium pizzas for 10 dollars ad where the dude thought Dirtbag Doyle was crazy. Poor Tate probably had a meltdown after his commercial aired last year and here we have a couple of the "Lacking in Ideas" locals saying this Brian dude should replace Patrick as CEO. I couldn't agree more. 

I seriously can't stand this guy. I don't care if they're just commercials; he comes off like a total jerk in the box and approves of them going on the air. 

Little Caesar's FTW!