Monday, August 20, 2012

Hell's Kitchen Recap Episode 17

Episode 17


Clemenza: "I get put up again for elimination and that just lit a spark cause you're gonna see a new Clemenza tomorrow." Seems like he says this each and every episode, yeah? 

Clemenza, delusional chef: After tasting Ramsay's chicken Parmesan, "Really?  My chicken Parm would blog that outta the water." 

Hell's Kitchen Cooking School: This is usually an interesting challenge, but who cares about that when you have a couple babes in high heels mistaking thongs for tongs. 

Dana, malfunctioning vocal cords: "I LOVE TEACHING! THIS IS WHAT I DO! I TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO COOK!"

Justin: "Mind you, they were Miss Teen USA, I wasn't thinking anything crazy." Just stop at "I wasn't thinking", Justin. We're all used to that out of you by now.

Clemenza, premature celebration: "When it comes to certain Italian things, I think I have marinara sauce flowing through my veins."  Two seconds later, Ramsay reveals that the tomatoes must have taken a crap in the sauce, cause it apparently really stinks. 

Justin, mocker: Dude makes Dana, Christina, and Clemenza pasta after they'd been preparing it all day.  I'd suggest that Justin maybe stop and think about what he's doing but I know that may be a little challenging for him.

Clemenza, premature celebration II as he pounds chicken breasts into deflated basketballs: "Dinner service is probably the most important thing I've ever done in my life tonight.  The Italian Stallion Clemenza is coming through, baby. Stand back, step off, watch out." Who can guess what happens to Clemenza by the end of this episode? 

Dana: "WE'RE ON DINNER SERVICE 14!"  We should also be on episode 14 if it weren't for an assault of To Be Continued's delivered by the higher-ups at Fox.  Thanks, guys.  

Barbie and Clemenza: I have no idea what the hell these two were up to during dinner service.  They were yelling at each other, they were sending up crap, and just generally being unproductive.  "Looks like someone literally peed in the frying pan and added butter." Pretty much defines dinner service. 

Announcer: "With Dana slipping on the meat station, Chef Ramsay looks to Justin to take control of the kitchen." If by "take control" you mean "lose control" then this is a great move.

Clemenza, broken record during 7th elimination nomination: "Cause I have done some good and I have done a lot of good. Tonight was an embarrassment. Being the Italianite, believe me, I wanted to shine. I wanted to do more. I did not quit once during service no matter what you said no matter what was thrown at me I kept going and going and going!  Chef, I've been a team player, I've battled through everything, I always give you 100%. Every time I come down I am ready for battle!" 

Clemenza finally got eliminated.  Amazing that he was put up 7 times and managed to finish 5th.  Clemenza had his moments, but there's a lot of holes in his game, namely consistency.  He'd have a really good moment and then sink back to earth. What I always found amusing is that whenever he had a blatantly terrible service he'd always blame someone else then go into his passionate heartfelt speech to Ramsay and get another chance.  The guy has passion, that can't be denied, but the consistency needs improvement.  I pegged him as a dark horse early in the season but as the episodes went on it became more and more obvious that he wasn't going to go anywhere.  

Announcer: "You WON'T BELIEVE who Chef Ramsay allows into Hell's Kitchen!!!"  Yeah, it's their families. You do this every season. Might wanna rewrite your script.  Plus you used this in last week's promo. Fox sucks.

Final Four: Christina will be in the finals.  Barbie won't.  That leaves Dana and Justin in the 2 and 3 slots. I've been saying this all along - given how bad most of this season has been I wouldn't be surprised to see Justin in the finals, but I'm pulling for Dana. I mean, listening to Justin give orders is like listening to a clothes hanger. By the way - what's this nonsense of eliminating half of the final four in one episode?  They did the same thing last season and it pisses me off.  In the better days of Hell's Kitchen we'd get one elimination from the Final Four, then one elimination from the final three, then a two episode finale.  And shit, after Fox went through all that effort to flesh out the season with all those bullshit To Be Continued's, why are they suddenly in a rush to wrap up things?  Eat me, Fox. 

Clemenza is like the immunity idol from Survivor; as long as he's around you're pretty much safe from elimination

Not a bad episode but it was predictable.