Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hell's Kitchen/MasterChef Recap - Episode II

Episode II


"Do you have any idea how stupid you look?"

Ahahahaha. Dude, what the hell is up with that Tiffany chick?  Holy shit, calm down. I swear this girl has multiple personalities or something.  In the dorms she just went off in some angry hillbilly gibberish that I could barely understand.  And then Kimmie, as it turns out, is straight out of Compton or something.  What a revelation.  

So Royce has a big target on his head now in addition to his scalloping bruise.  The thing is - the earlier in the show that you're put up for elimination, the worse chance you have of making it far in the game.  The reason is that you're now marked; by default you're gonna be one of the two team nominations when Ramsay asks for a consensus.  It happens every season when someone screws up regardless of how minor it is.  It could be something as simple as cooking a dish wrong to getting into a spat with someone.  Whatever the reason, once you go up for the first time that early in the game, you better get comfortable going up there after every losing service.

This doesn't necessarily mean that Royce is done.  While your luck with getting nominated every week does hurt, there have been several contestants over the years that have made it far while having targets on their backs.  Last year Elise got nominated 7 times and finished in third. Sabrina the season before was nominated 4 times and in the first 6 episodes and finished sixth overall.  Even season 4 winner Christina got nominated a few times early on in her run for the win.  So you never really know. 

Oh, how about that Robyn?  "She's only here for herself!"  Well duh you stupid dork.  No, she's here for string cheese.  OF COURSE SHE'S HERE FOR HERSELF JUST LIKE YOU'RE HERE FOR YOURSELF!  MORON!!!!

Dude, how about those scallops at dinner service?  How many hundreds of shelled fish did they waste tonight?  Not that I'm big on shell fish but someone must be and that's what's important.  Or something.

I don't think that was really a scallop shake.  Somehow I think drinking a blended creation of cold scallops would render more outrageous reactions.  But that's just me.

Oh, Psycho Bitch Tiffany used "under the bus" during service.  Mandatory Mention. 

The chopping block was kind of a surprise. I was pretty sure Roshni was gone since it looks like she's about to cry at any given second, but instead it was Chris, one of the identical scrawny white guys who all look, sound, and talk alike. However to no one's surprise it was another "The person leaving Hell's Kitchen is.........Barbie...............BACK IN LINE!" WHOA THAT WAS SO SHOCKING IT'S LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE ON THIS SHOW.

By the way, has anyone else noticed that some of this year's contestants look like past contestants?  Psycho Bitch Tiffany looks kinda like Maria from season 7.  Barbie reminds me of Julia from season 4.  All of the scrawny white guys who all look, sound, and talk alike remind me of Gabe from season 2 or Scott from season 7.  

Can't wait to see Psycho Bitch Tiffany explode next week!

Episode II

I switched to election coverage during a commercial and found myself more amused with finding funny words that sound like Kleefisch.  Then I looked up Rebecca Kleefisch and was amazed at how hot she is.  That was pretty much the highlight of this episode.