Monday, June 25, 2012

Hell's Kitchen Recap Episode 7

Episode 7

"Another 'To be continued?' GET OUT!!!!"

I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but we're seriously in the midst of the worst season of Hell's Kitchen ever. I can't believe how painfully bored I am watching this half-assed attempt at a kitchen soap opera.  I'm hoping it turns around and we get some of the magic and intensity of past seasons but I'm not holding my breath.  The problem is there aren't any front runners nor are there any donkeys.  There's little parity in the competition which could be a good thing, but no one has any personality either.  Brian and Justin are the same f-ing person.  I don't mean to sound so cynical but this is just awful.  I mean, am I wrong?  This is one of the few shows I've gone out of my way to watch over the years and I've been really let down thus far. But Ramsay's rants are still hysterical.

Anyway, onto the episode:

First of all, did anybody really believe that Clemenza would be sent home for his scallops mishap at that exact moment?  The only shocking thing about this episode was the inclusion of one of the lamest cliffhangers in HK history, right there next to the "to be continued" of the Pouty Lips-Van Halen-Guy elimination round.  Plus if you looked closely in the promos from last week, you can see Clemenza in the kitchen, so nice fail, editors.

I'm convinced that the producers have half-naked women strutting around the restaurant because they also realize how lame of a season this has been so far.

I'm also convinced that they're including these fashion geeks as a way to create more conflict.  Personally I just wanna punch that blonde jerk right in his Playdough-shaped nose, but I digress.

"No way I'm going to let him go down. I'm jumping on." - Wow, Brian. You're such a warrior.

Robyn: She runs out of beef so she asks someone else to ask the Blue Team for more? Dude, ASK THEM YOURSELF!  Don't send Psycho Bitch Tiffany to clean up your mess.  Not cool.

"It's a competition, you silly cow!"  Best insult ever?  I wish someone had told this to the Oklahoma City Thunder during the NBA Finals.

I'd take Sous Chef Andy over any of those models any day.  Dana, too.

I like how the editors built up all this crap between Robyn and Kimmie only to bring them back as best friends later that same day, thus clinching the fact that this season is short on conflict.

"I gave him a little spanking."  I'm sure you did, Royce, and I'm sure you enjoyed it.

Whoa, Brian!  Don't hit that punching bag too hard, it might drain all of your personality.

Wow.  Took 7 minutes to nominate Guy.  Seriously?

Needless to say, this wasn't "one of the most shocking episodes in Hell's Kitchen history" as hinted at the beginning of the episode.  I like to see Clemenza fighting and I'm glad he stayed.  I still think he can go far.  Seeing Guy leave is a bit of a disappointment, but the problem with all the parity is that if you don't stand out then you won't go far and that's what happened with him.

Overall a snoozefest.