Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wendy's - Hall of Shame Worthy?

When it comes to fast food, I've always been a McDonald's guy.  The grease, the cheapness, the fat - I just wanna submerge myself in it all and bathe in the glory.  I think the fast food that you tend to grow up on as a special once-in-a-while treat is the fast food you wind up sticking with at least until your taste buds change and you don't like it anymore.  McDonald's has always been my guilty pleasure, occasionally Burger King or Jack in the Box (until my last three visits went something along the lines of violently ill, waited 20 minutes in the drive thru, violently ill) were my choices, and then In-N-Out became the special when I moved to the Sacramento area and subsequently to Southern California.

Wendy's, however, was never on the radar simply because it was never high up in the chain of fast food command.  It would go McDonald's-Roundtable-Pool of others.  I ate there maybe once as a kid.  That's it.  But ever since I've been training pit bulls on Saturday morning, I've been within walking distance of Wendy's and twice I've gone to this establishment and twice I've been left feeling like Morgan Spurlock in Super Size Me when he couldn't keep the double quarter pounder down.  Back in May I made a post titled "There is Such a Thing as Too Much Good Stuff," where I went on a rant about Wendy's disgusting attempt at recreating Fat Bastard's appetizers with the Baconator.  Here's a picture of the monstrosity:

I can just hear the chorus of burps and belches

Two thick beef patties, several slices of bacon, and a bunch of mayonnaise.  You'd think this would be the coolest thing next to Franklin Roosevelt's pwnage of the 1936 Presidential Election, but instead it was like a kick in the crotch from Justin Bieber or something.  This thing was an epic fail on so many levels and I seriously can't fathom how any restaurant could churn out a product so horrible.  Honestly, of all the things I've tried since launching this blog - everything from goat to pigs lips - this may be the most disgusting.  I couldn't even finish this Mount Crapcake of a burger, that's how gross it was.  You know who eats these things?  People like this guy (thanks, YouTube, for the unnecessary site design changes).  Seriously though, this dude is pretty funny.  He's the ultimate Internet troll. 

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago.  I had about 30 minutes until I was to speak at an orientation so I wanted to get some food fast and, oh hey, Wendy's is right down the street.  I figured maybe the Baconator was just an anomaly and their regular stuff is okay so I gave them another shot.  And again they let me down.

So first thing's first; my friend Hawk is a vegetarian so I picked up a "cheeseburger without the burger".  A grilled cheese basically.  You know how much I paid?  FOUR BUCKS!!! For a grilled frickin' cheese??  Hey, Wendy, you bitch, I'm ordering it WITHOUT the beef.  That should make the price GO DOWN, right??  I'm trying to find a pricing chart online but am having trouble.  If someone knows - what's the usual price of a standard Wendy's cheeseburger?  From what I can gather it's about $3-4.  Look, I know I regularly trash the whole "let's make the fast food industry produce healthier food" movement, but on the other side of the coin for Wendy's to be so inept over a grilled cheese is unacceptable.  Four dollars?  Eat me.

The other half of the meal is what I got.  I ordered a pair of chicken sandwiches from their dollar menu since I figured they'd be really tiny.  While they were a fair size, they tasted like a football that had been grilling on a donkey's ass on a 95 degree day:

These were not good at all.  The sandwiches were bad.  The fries were bad.  Wendy's is bad and I'm really surprised I'm saying that.  I've always had the perception that Wendy's was more of a "premium" fast food joint with better quality ingredients but clearly I was wrong.  I've always been a fan of their not-overly-cheesy commercials and Dave Thomas was a G (Subway's Jared Douche Sandwich and Domino's J. Patrick Dingleberry could learn a thing or two).  I never ventured to Wendy's as a kid so I've never really tasted the food until just recently.  Man.  

I'm not yet inducting Wendy's into the Hall of Shame, but they're on the bubble.  Bad food and paying the same price for a grilled cheese that I'd pay for a cheeseburger.  A four dollar grilled cheese?  At a fast food restaurant?  Come on.  I'd say the Tourette's Guy had it right:

The newb that uploaded this video says that he's having drive-thru troubles at Burger King, but anyone with any knowledge of anything knows that "Biggie Fries" comes from Wendy's.  

Thanks for reading!