Monday, April 29, 2013

Hell's Kitchen, Season 11, Episode 8 Recap

Season 11, Episode 8 Recap

Gordon Ramsay likes watching the fat kids run

This episode was stupid.  Yes, Danny Boy is annoying prick but sending him home over Barret?  Barret flatout sucks.  First he tries to serve the parchment paper with a fish around it then tries to send out raw chicken?  Come on, Gordon.  

Susan, sucker: "I sucked tonight".  Yeah, dirty jokes aside, I still can't figure this chick out.  There's just something about her that's strange.  It's almost like she's an actress playing the part of an HK contestant and at some point in the season she's gonna be involved in some big twist or something.  

Mary, butcher of cute animals upon hearing she won't actually be butchering them: "I'm excited to RASSLE them!" 

Nedra, dumbass: "I'm scared of my own damn dog, that should tell you something shouldn't it?"  Yes, Nidra, it tells me you're a moron who's useless to society, thanks for clearing that up.  

Danny Boy, jealous: "Apparently Michael has some kind of cooking skill and I don't." Well, half of that statement is correct.  Where you're off is assuming Michael has any kind of cooking skills at all.  You both just kinda suck to be honest.

Jon Shook, how the hell old is this kid?:  Dude, who the hell is this guy?  He comes on one of the hottest shows on network TV dressed up as if he's about to go to a Justin Bieber concert?  And this clown is the head chef at one of the LA's hottest new restaurants?  Dude, wear a blazer or something, seriously.  I mean, I don't like dressing up either but...SERIOUSLY!

Zachy Wacky, wise words: "Mary, Mary, quite contrary.  Hahaha.  GET IT TOGETHER, WOMAN!"

Aquarium Guide: Holy crap this chick must taking the same lessons as Mary is in how to make your voice sound as disgusting as possible. 

Yeah, Gordon Ramsay has no ego problem at all - everyone has a stash of drawings of themselves that kids can color in

Anthony, philosoraptor impersonator: "A cold cheeseburger.  How the hell does something like that happen?"

Gordon: "Barret, if you knew it was raw, why'd you bring it up to me?"
Barret: "Because I'm a stupid douche and I smell bad and can't read good and I suck and should be sent home tonight."

J'anelle, unintentional jerk: "I don't mean to be a jerk but we're totally blowing these boys out of the water and I'm really thoroughly enjoying it."  Actually, J'anelle, you really are being a jerk, sorry to say.

Barret, diffusing responsibility: "They just communicate way better than we do, guys.  That's it."  Actually, Barret, they also don't try to serve raw chicken to the sous chef's wife, nor do they try to serve halibut with parchment paper attached YOU STUPID IDIOT!

Hello, my name is Barret and I'm a douchebag

Mikey Wikey, douche: "I've never worked with so many f*@*#(! amateurs in this business in my life!"  Then he pounds the counter in anger.  Easy, big fella.  You may squash a ladybug. 

Danny Boy goes home: Look, Dan's a douche and a borderline creep, but Barret is just dumb.  This guy is a schmuck, a scab, an idiot.  He knowingly tries to serve crap and has done it more than once.  Why the hell didn't this guy go home before Dan?  This would have been an appropriate time to trade Dan to the red team for a leader and trash Barret instead.  No clue what Ramsay's thinking here.

Just FYI I bet you that Episode 9 will be a TBC.