HELL'S KITCHEN
Season 11, Episode 6 Recap
"What's that smell? Oh yeah, must be my reality television career."
Yeah, this is about 5 days late, but I don't care since I heard it ends with another TBC. If Gordon Ramsay is gonna spew his nonsense on the show then I will, too.
Jeremy goes home: WHOA!!! WHAT A COMPLETE AND UTTER SURPRISE! I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING! I SURE AM GLAD GORDON RAMSAY MADE ME WAIT A WHOLE F-ING WEEK TO SEE THIS. BITE ME!!!
Mary might be pregnant: I don't know what's scarier: Mary being pregnant, or the fact that someone actually impregnated her.
Gordon Ramsay, Peeping Tom: Why the hell are there cameras in the bathroom?...
Mike-Wikey, douche: "Once again I'm really worried about Dan the most going into tonight's service because I just question his food knowledge and his experience." This is the kinda guy that sea crews commit mutiny against.
Nidra, ear biter: "You don't wanna f@*# with me. I'm Mike Tyson, bitch." The scary thing is a smack from one of her boobs may be as hard if not harder than a whack from Iron Mike.
Cliche inspirational quotes: "Guys don't cook with your emotions...UNLESS IT'S FIRE AND PASSION!"
Zachy-Wacky: "I can almost guarantee a win tonight." You can almost guarantee a win when the odds are 50% chance of winning anyway? You're bold, bro.
Alright, I can't stand this. He's getting the wait staff out to talk about how hard their jobs are? One bitch said she almost lost her job the other night because a couple customers were complaining? NEWS FLASH: YOU'RE ON A TV SHOW! HELL'S KITCHEN IS A TELEVISION SET!!! And most of all...YOU'RE A F*@*$#( ACTRESS!!! You really expect me to believe that they actually hired real servers? So, what, they work on HK three weeks out of the year and then casually go back to their usual day jobs? Bite me. These are all actors and actresses trying to make it in LA. Almost lost your job? I almost lost my lunch at how horrible HK has turned this season.
Danny Boy: "I don't like waiters, f@*! them they're annooooooying." So are yoooooooou.
Logical issues: So the kitchens are at a standstill because Jessica and Barret have crappy handwriting (or because Gordon Ramsay needs some fun material for the cameras). So like...what happened to all of the other servers that "work" in HK? Are they, like, off for the night or something? We were just fed this horribly scripted skit about how the servers take all this crap because of the kitchen's inability to cook, so, like, where are they?
Danny Boy, that's what he said: "I keep trying to get in there, I keep getting shut down."
'Bout to go Mike Tyson on your ass
Ray, awesome comeback: "Are you f@*#&@& kidding me? Really? Put a f@&#!(# red jacket on, grab your f@&!()# tampons, and go on the f@&!($) red team. Please." Hahaha awesome.
Gordon: Hey! Dumber and Dumber?
Entire Blue Team: Yes chef?
Sous Chef Dude who replaced Sous Chef Scott: I can't remember this guy's name, but I love that he storms into the dorm pretending to be all pissed off. "I'M BESIDE MYSELF!" Yeah, I'm sure you are, dude-whose-name-no-one-knows.
Maybe if you didn't do so many TBC's you wouldn't be so angry right now, Gordon.
Danny Boy vs. Ray-Ray: So here's the thing...Danny Boy really is a little bitch and Ray's totally serving it to him. But on the other hand Ray totally f-ed up service tonight any way you look at it. Remember how in the last episode's promo they tried to make us think Ray got into a fight with Amanda? Yeah, nice try.
To Be Continued: Bite me. Here's what'll happen: Mary and Nedra are going to the Blue Team, Ray is going to the Red Team, and Danny Boy is going home. Book it.
BUS COUNT: Zachy-Wacky informed Mary that her red comrades threw her under the bus faster than anything. Season total: 7.
