Sunday, April 21, 2013

Hell's Kitchen, Season 11, Episode 7 Recap

Season 11, Episode 7 Recap

"Let me show you how to give yourself an enema with just your fingers"

As you can see, that TBC a couple episodes back really drained my interest level this season.  IMO it's like a below-the-belt hit.  And I'm telling you this now: there will be more.  They will drag this season out as long as they possibly can.  We've got the most contestants in HK history this season and naturally they want to milk it for all it's worth.  

Chefs on probation: This is another example of how stupid things are getting.  Probation?  Really?  So basically all they have to do is not screw up too much and they get their jacket back.  Great thinking, Gordon. 

Zacky Wacky: "I'm from the hood.  I love Chinese food."  

Chinese food challenge: Crack open giant fortune cookies and line up ingredients to six dishes.  I'm wondering what they did with all the broken fortune cookies.  They didn't all go to waste did they?

Anthony: "Ah yes, daikon radish!  That's something I cook with all the time!"  I like this guy.  He's quirky yet not too annoying.  May go far.

Danny Boy, broken record: Wait...where did he live for a year?  I didn't catch it the first thousand times, but apparently the rest of the Blue Team did:
Zacky Wacky: "Dan, is that the way they serve rice in Asia where you lived for a year?!"  
Anthony: "Hey Dan, go back to Asia for another year."  ahahahahaha 

Ramsay, forgetting where he is: "I don't want you making any excuses in front of the chef please.  He's given up his day to be here."  Yeah, he's given up his day to be on TV.  What a chore. 

Danny Boy, a walking dick with ears: "What goes around comes around, bitches!  Take that, skanks!"

Zacky Wacky, paintball hero: "It was fun shooting Dan.  I loved it.  So therapeutic." 

Balut egg special: I think watching the girls choke down a bunch of chicken fetuses is more amusing than the kind of drama Fox tries to manufacture with this nonsense.

Jessica, Captain Obvious: "Walking cod and halibut."
Ramsay: "Yeah, really?"

Danny Boy: "I'm riding solo on the meat station.  The spotlight is on me."  Let's hope the bulb burns out.

Paper on the halibut: Serving halibut with the parchment?  Why didn't Barret get kicked out for that?

Zacky Wacky, more trolling: "By the time you swallow it, it's too late.  You're on the floor with Jean Phillippe doing CPR on you.  Who the f$*@ would want that?"  Apparently Barret does, Zach.

Service with a smile

Barret, douche machine: "If anyone should be going home tonight it should be Ray.  51 years old.  Memory is really not there."  First of all, dick cheese, the guy whose "memory is not really there" is only five years older than the guy whose ass you're kissing to try and win a restaurant, so I'd watch the age gags.  Second of all, I think YOUR "memory is not really there" because you were stupid enough to leave the paper on the halibut and try to serve it to a guest.  Are you really that stupid or is this just a special occasion for you?

The Danny Boy stalks his next victim to annoy

So Jessica goes home.  I find it ironic that Ramsay spends so much time grilling the "probation" chefs and Jessica's the one who winds up going.  Whatever.  This was a pretty dull episode in my opinion.  Danny Boy's probably gonna hang around for a while, contrary to what the promo for Tuesday's episode says.