Monday, May 20, 2013

Hell's Kitchen, Season 11, Episode 12 Recap

Season 11, Episode 12


***Note: In Fox's brilliance, they moved this week's episode of Hell's Kitchen to Thursday.  Because constantly changing the days a show airs won't confuse anyone.  Way to go, guys.

Ah, the teams get to create their own menus.  This is always a jungle, namely because last season Gordon didn't try the menus until the minutes leading up to dinner service.  Naturally, both menus wound up sucking pretty bad.  Nice to know that these are the "world class" standards that Gordon's putting into practice.  Let's see what happens. 

Nidra, phoney baloney: "All ya'll bitches are fake."  And you're real.  

"World class" standards: So they had 6 hours to cook up the dishes for their menu and perfect them.  The Blue Team hit them out of the park.  All of the dishes looked really good and were met with high marks.  The Red Team's menu totally tanked on so many levels.  After he ripped the girls a new one he announces "you've got some work to do.  We're opening in 20 minutes!"  

Dude, really?  These are his "world class" standards?  You give the teams the freedom to make their own menu, give them six hours to execute it, then try the dishes just minutes before service?  Let's pull a page out of Kitchen Nightmares and pretend Hell's Kitchen is a real restaurant and not a TV set.  How would the customers feel knowing that the menu they're ordering off of was just written up that day and that duck dish they just ordered is based off a sample that was rejected by the boss for being raw, too much juice on top, and basically tasting like crap just 20 minutes prior?  Something tells me they wouldn't be too pleased.  But hey, these are Gordon's "world class" standards, right?  He's the expert in every faucet of existence.  I hear his new show is gonna feature him giving legal advice since he's a lawyer by hobby.

Gordon: Is that clear now?
Zachy-Wacky: Yes chef, very clear!
Gordon: I appreciate that.
Zachy-Wacky: Thank you, chef!
Gordon: That's why I called you fuckface!  Cause you fuck them and you fuck me!
Zachy-Wacky: I don't fuck anybody!
Gordon: Thank you!
Zachy-Wacky: Thank you!

Caption this

Susan: Coming, chef!
Gordon: Yeah, so is Christmas.

Mikey-Wikey, raw halibut: I can cook anything, I'm so talented.
Gordon: Hey, raw halibut in the center.
Mikey-Wikey: No!
Gordon: Yes, YES!

Mikey-Wikey, on timeout: Due to his butchering of the halibut, Mikey-Wikey was put into timeout for five minutes, complete with a Gordon Ramsay patented "boozzah".  

"Why is my show getting so terrible?"

Switching Teams: So finally Gordon wants to switch up the teams so he's given the chance to the Red Team for someone to volunteer and go over to the Blue Team.  Naturally they all want to go to prove themselves as a leader and shine on a crappy team.  They draw names out of a hat and Cyndi was selected.  

Mikey-Wikey goes home.  He was a good talker but also really annoying.  The duel between him and Danny Boy was like two cockroaches fighting over a piece of bread.  Of course, we were due for yet another TBC, this time with Gordon getting pissed at the Red Team for not coming to a consensus on who gets traded (apparently drawing names out of a hat was against the rules).  So here's how the next episode will start: he tells everyone to piss off back to the dorms and then Cyndi goes to the Blue Team.  Whew, good thing you put a TBC in there to ease the tension, Gordon.  And apparently we're being led to believe that an eliminated contestant is coming back - not happening.