Thursday, January 12, 2012


There's a really gnarley website out there called where you can create and customize your own chocolate bar.  How many times have you been walking down the candy aisle and thought "huh, I wish these Crunch bars had gummy bears and curry powder on them..."  Well, NOW YOU FREAKIN' CAN!!!

That's right - milk chocolate with M&M's, Nerds, gummy bears, and FRICKIN' SOUR PATCH KIDS!!

The Sour Patch Kids were really the star here.  I'm not gonna say they overpowered the chocolate, but they definitely took the cake as to which topping you tasted first.  But isn't this cool?  I mean yeah, 85 cents for a couple Sour Patch Kids is the equivalent of paying to hear Rick Perry talk about which government agencies he would eliminate as president, but it's the novelty you're paying for.  This was a holiday gift for The World According to Suz.  I bought a few of these for people, using a different combo for each bar.

Here's another one I ordered for the Bone Crusher:

You could put this on any San Diego street and the difference in amount of toppings and potholes would be negligible

This one's got M&M's, Oreos, Junior Mints, peanut butter chips, and gummy bears.  I'll provide details of how it tastes as they become available.  For another look at the Chocomize sensation, check out The World According to Rich's vlog where he ordered a chocolate bar with banana granola, hot curry powder, Kit Kat pieces, mango dices, and organic roasted peanuts.  It's pretty funny. 

UPDATE!  Bone Crusher sent me this picture of the unwrapped bar:

Holy Guacamole!

Anyway, moving on.  Since we're on the topic of candy, I want to discuss the effect that the stupid economy is having on all of our favorite sugary treats.  As I'm sure you've probably noticed, the price of anything that has sugar in it has skyrocketed; cookies, ice cream, candy, etc., etc.  If you know of a place where you can get a chocolate bar for under a buck then you should barricade all entries and exits during the night so no one can so much as even have the opportunity to try and jack the price up.  

So what are stores doing now to help ease this sugary inflation?  They're trying to conceal the increasing prices and advertise them in the form of a "buy more, pay less" discount.  Such as this:

Because we all go to the store to spend 7 dollars on candy

Okay, I admit that I've had my well documented candy shopping sprees, but this is getting ridiculous.  First off - $2.99 for a bag of sour gummy worms?  Do you realize that these things used to be about a buck in 2003?  Whenever my dad would go to Longs (Northern California's CVS) he'd bring me back two bags of these (usually one sour, one regular).  Two bucks without breaking a sweat.  But now if you want any kind of deal you have to buy 3 for 7 bucks?  Dude, what?  The price is so inflated that there's absolutely no savings here at all.  And I understand why - of all the candies on display, the sour worms probably have the most sugar.  More sugar = more $$$.

But that's not the only pricing strategy companies are using, oh no.  There's the other disguise of "buy more, pay the same."  Check this out from Target:


One thing really quick - I'm not ripping on CVS or Target for these price disguises.  The rough economy makes it just as hard for them to price things fairly, so they have to use every trick they can to move merchandise.  But seriously?  5 for $5 when they're normally $1 anyway?  Come on.  The good news is that Target is the only place I know of where you can actually get candy for a dollar.  Or you can buy 5 and pay the same exact price proportion and save nothing.  Here's another one:

I only bought one bag but I bet you can't guess how much it cost

$1.50 for the above.  But they just wanted me to know that if I chose to buy another, it would be an even three dollars.  See, they did the math for me.  That's the benefit of advertising 2 for $3.  Or something.  I don't know.  Take it away, Rick:

The thing I like most about this clip, other than it being really, really funny, is that it shows he's human.  Regardless of whether I agree with the man's politics or not, everyone makes mistakes, and he laughed at himself so that's a good way to cover it up.

But rising candy prices is certainly no laughing matter. 

Oh, and here's another amazing dish produced by Creative Distribution Specialist Caroline, dubbed the Slithery Serpent Sandwich:

I've always had a qualm about eating dishes that still have the head attached, but in this case I'll make an exception

Thanks for reading!