Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Hell's Kitchen, Season 11, Episode 2 Recap

Season 11
Episode 2 Recap

"Alright you muppets, who farted?"

Alright, as much as I disliked season 10 and as much of a letdown as episode 1 was...episode 2 was actually REALLY FRICKIN' GOOD!!!  It had action, it had comedy, it had bitches bein' crazy, it had Gordon yelling in British - everything you could want from an HK episode this one had.

Zachy-Wacky: Dude's a straight-up baller.  Early front-runner right here.  Totally held his own in the kitchen and called it like it is with Jeremy. 

Susan: Is this chick hot or is she just a bitch?  Usually in HK they're mutually exclusive.

Gordon-teed: A complete dinner service on opening night.  Yeah, we've never seen this before.

Jean Philippe: Hey!  Look who decided to stumble in and crash onto the floor as if they hadn't rehearsed it at all!  EXCELLENT!

Ramsay, totally unscripted: "JP.  I need the f#!*!* tickets.  You disappear for three years and then you turn up late.  How rude!"

Mary the Vocal Butcher: Please, someone just stuff an eggplant in this girl's mouth.

The correct response is "yes, chef".  The blue team's response is"..."

Christian: Dude really is from Boston.  Can barely understand a word he's sayin'.  "Eam rally peesed raught naow, I'm doing mai paaaart out der and mai team can't get da first table togetha."

Mary the Vocal Butcher: "'How much longer?  How much longer?' Shut up, Gina!"  Actually, you'd be doing ALL OF US a favor if YOU would shut up, Mary. 

Puppetmaster Gina: "Nedra won't tell me annnnnything!"  Why don't you just ask Alfredo then, Gina?


Sebastian: Mikey-Wikey, Zachy-Wacky...yeah, just gtfo, bro. 

Danielle, bad memory: "I don't know how you're expected to remember all of the tickets."  Well, Danielle, it's this nifty new invention called a brain.  They're on sale from Target for $14.95. 

Danielle: I've never worked in a brigade before.
Susan: Oh really?  (Translation: Good, you'll be gone in no time!)

Ramsay: Now f!@& off.
Danielle: Yes, thank you.

Dan, Captain Obvious: "There's gotta be meat on there!  This isn't a dog's chew toy!  This is lamb!"  Thanks for the inspiring lecture, Dan. 

Danielle, obviously never seen an episode of Hell's Kitchen: Okay, we get that you've never worked on a brigade (line) before.  You don't need to say it every five seconds.  But seriously, this show is only in its eleventh season.  When you heard that you were gonna be on it don't you think it would have been a good idea to, you know, get some practice in?   I mean wtf is up with you, girl?

Danielle: Sorry chef, I'm confused.  Do you need the one for the redo and the two chicken and two wellington or do you just need the two chicken and wellington?
Ramsay: ...GET OUT!

Ramsay, assuming people don't notice missing mashed potatoes: Seriously?  Because no one's doing garnish he sends potato-less dishes out hoping no one will notice?  DUDE, THE PLATES ARE HALF EMPTY!  EVEN STEVIE WONDER WOULD FIGURE THAT OUT PRETTY F-ING QUICKLY, DUDE!!!

Finger Lickin' Ray: I laughed so hard here.  Ramsay asks him to taste the risotto and the dude sticks his whole hand in it.  Ramsay just blasts out "fingers!" and kicks him out of the kitchen.  Awesome.

Fingers!  Spoons everywhere!

Danielle, curious kitty: "Curiosity!  Show of hands!  How many people have worked in a true brigade before!"  May have well just asked "Curiosity!  Show of hands!  How many people think I'm an ass sniffer!"

Ramsay: "Zach, you gave it your all.  That's the kind of commitment I want to see."  Dude, seriously mad props to Zach tonight.  Dude showed up.

BUS COUNT: Two tonight, the second by Jeremy courtesy of Zach: "Zach threw me underneath the bus."  

So Sebastian went home.  I was surprised really.  I mean, I guess he didn't impress with his food, and the seafood corn dogs were like wtf.  But he did try to get back into the kitchen to help his team, so for that I have to give him props.  I guess if he actually had talent then he'd still be here but his food must have been that bad.

Good episode.  Best highlight of the next episode is Gina doing an impression of Nidra.  That.  Is.  AWESOME!