Friday, February 15, 2013

Dude, Really?

So I was stalking the aisles of CVS today looking for clearance Valentine's Day candy and I came across a box of these delicious chocolate covered Maraschino cherries:

Note the 100% liquid center

Tootsie Roll owns this brand, let's get that out of the way right off the bat.  I've had these things a few times before and they're delicious.  I bought them without thinking twice.  Notice the illustration in the upper right hand corner.  That's how they're supposed to look with a smooth, creamy shell and a syrupy inside.  You can probably imagine my disappointment upon opening the box when I saw this:

Looks like frozen raccoon turds

I'm looking at these and I'm thinking...did I accidentally buy some chocolate covered snail shells? are the chocolate covered Maraschino cherries but they must have been frozen, hence their warped shells.  But I thought hey, maybe they taste okay.  


Now what the hell is this?

This is pitiful.  This is an old stale piece of chocolate with an old stale cherry inside.  The syrupy center has long since dissolved.  And, oh yeah, it tastes terrible.  I mean, if you don't look at it you can kinda taste some chocolate and what feels like a cherry, but otherwise you'd have better luck fishing for dog food in a trash bin.  I mean, what happened here?  Was this frozen?  First of all: YOU DON'T FREEZE CHOCOLATE.  I don't know if it was Tootsie Roll or CVS BUT YOU DON'T FRICKIN' FREEZE CHOCOLATE!  

Second of all, what would happen if a little kid bought these for a girl he likes for Valentine's Day?  "Hi Katie, I bought these for you using my past four allowances?"  "Oh thanks, Jimmy, these look lovely!"  *Takes a bite* EWWWWW.  Guys, IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!!!  Come on, guys.  But above all else, this isn't even a seasonal item.  You can get these throughout the year.  So what the heck is going on? 

I'm going to write to Tootsie Roll.  I'll keep you posted on what they say.  Very disappointing.