"Please be assured that when the product leaves our plant, it is in the most perfect condition possible. From your description though, it would seem that after the cherries were shipped, they suffered heat damage. Temperature is extremely important in maintaining this fine confection. Unfortunately, we have no control over how our product is stocked and stored once it leaves our facilities."
Again, here are the cherries:
"Please be assured that when the product leaves our plant, it is in the most perfect condition possible. From your description though, it would seem that after the cherries were shipped, they suffered heat damage. Temperature is extremely important in maintaining this fine confection. Unfortunately, we have no control over how our product is stocked and stored once it leaves our facilities. Nevertheless, they are our product, and they do represent us."
Susan and Janet must be Siamese twins because they apparently thought up the same response word-for-word, save that part about the product representing them. This actually really annoys me because this tells me that like so many other companies, their customer service is completely a formality and they could really care less about customer satisfaction. They just assume all issues will quietly go away.
If I had spent more than $1.50 on these then I may be more inclined to create a stink. But seriously. What is it about customer service that causes so many companies to struggle? Hey, buttheads - your product looks like it just spent the last thousand years mummified in the ass of the Sphynx. Maybe you should, like, put a little more thought into this?
Seriously, it's amazing.