Monday, September 10, 2012

MasterChef Recap Episode 20 SEASON FINALE!


Ramsay is still constipated over how shitty of a season Hell's Kitchen turned out to be

First of all - thanks to everyone who's been reading these recaps throughout the season.  They've been a lot of fun to write and it's been great to get some discussion going.  Keep coming back for my other passion: taking pictures of the food I eat and posting them for the world to see.  You'll have a lot of fun, I promise :-)

Well, that's 2-for-2 tonight - first Christina won Hell's Kitchen and then Christine won MasterChef.  The thing about Christine is that there was no reason why she shouldn't win - and that's why she won.  She seriously had no flaws in her game, and I think the judges, contestants, and even myself all season have been searching for a reason to undercut her but it never came.  She truly is a MasterChef. 

She started out as a huge underdog, being picked last for the team challenges and not really being taken seriously due to her handicap.  But she quickly established herself as a powerhouse when she put up awesome dish after awesome dish after awesome dish and didn't look back.  Josh put up a good fight today, but this title simply wasn't his.  He would have had to reach out and snatch it, but half-cooked lobster and pecan pie with tasteless bacon was not the way to go.  And we all know Frank should have been there anyway, so, you know.

The Cookoff: Two hours to cook a delicious three-course meal.  Winner takes all. 

Narrator, Captain Obvious: "Only one of them can be crowned America's next MasterChef."  Seriously, why do they do this to us?

Graham Elliot, aspirations: "What I'd like to see is them doing something based on their roots but also showcasing the journey."

Joe Bastianich, aspirations: "I think in this menu they have to bring a part of everything they've experienced and everything they've learned and show us technique and evolution and skill and ultimately they have to show us dishes that will blow us away." 

Just for the record, Graham was leaning towards Christine, Joe was leaning towards Josh and Gordon, naturally, was on the fence.  Gotta have that mandatory suspense, you know?

Gordon, pressure guy: "Christine is using the pressure cooker to take some of the f@*!(#) pressure off her.  Brilliant!"

Joe, Captain Obvious: "There can only be one winner.  There can only be one MasterChef."  One of the things I've never been able to stand about this show is how the judges will always be talking but never providing any new information.  Okay, guys, we get it: there can only be one MasterChef, just in case some stupidass out there thought otherwise.


Josh's Butter Poached Lobster: All you need to know is that everything worked except the lobster, which is kind of a key thing with butter poached lobster. 

The most important part of butter poached lobster, Josh, is to make sure the lobster is actually COOKED!!!

Christine's Thai Papaya Salad: Got pretty good reviews.  Simple, but nothing to majorly ding her on and believe me - they were looking.

It says crab but I think those are crayfish staring back at me


Josh's Rack of Lamb: Looked good.  Lamb is one of those foods where if it's not cooked to your liking it can be kind of annoying to eat.  But Josh nailed it here.

I'm waiting for the day that they have genetically modified lamb the size of New Jersey

Joe, lamb orgasm: "Spring lamb, summer peas, autumn carrots, winter parsnips.  I would say, chef, as the great Maestro Antonio Vivaldi, you have captured all four seasons in one stroke.  I think that this is an orchestral composition of mystical proportions."  Wtf?  Someone get me whatever Joe's smoking. 

Christine's Braised Pork Belly: Garnered rave reviews all around which completely overshadowed its presentation, which wasn't as nice as Josh's.  Christine's reasoning behind the dish, "I decided to go with flavors from home that my mother used to cook." 

A little home cookin'

Gordon, dislikes Vietnamese food: "But we're not in Vietnam and we're not at home.   You're in the final of MasterChef."  This is where I think they were looking for any reason to not award her the MasterChef title.  Keep in mind, just an hour or two earlier Graham himself said "What'd I'd like to see is them doing something based on their roots but also showcasing the journey." you go.  Again, this is why I think they were looking for a reason to not give her the victory.  Yeah, Josh's presentation was far superior, but obviously Christine's flavors won the day.


Josh's Pecan Crusted Pecan Pie: His vanilla bean ice cream was a huge hit and the pie was good but there was no point in including the bacon since it added absolutely nothing to the dish.

Seriously, bacon?  Are we in an episode of Chopped or something?

Christine's Coconut Lime Sorbet: Got good reviews.  Nothing amazing.  

Pretty safe dessert, but going up against a bacon pie I don't think you need to play it too bold

Graham, second guessing: "You think that we're making the right choice?"  Dude...YOU'RE the judge.  YOU'RE supposed to KNOW you're making the right choice.

Christine, condescending: "I think Josh is actually really talented."  Jeez, Christine.  Just kick him between the legs a few more times.  

Gordon, Captain Obvious Returns: "As you know there can only be one winner."  WHOA!!! REALLY??? ONE WINNER??? I THOUGHT THERE WERE FIFTEEN WINNERS, GORDON!!!

Christine, winner's words: "I just can't believe it, I'm the MasterChef.  This has been the most amazing experience, seriously.  After all the obstacles I've been through, going up against such awesome, amazing cooks."

Josh, runner-up: "Christine is a tough competitor, I love her, I respect her.  I'm just proud to compete against her.  I will not give up on my dream.  It will come true, whether I'm a MasterChef or not, it's definitely coming true."

The most common question this season: "Is he really tall or is she just really short?"

I'm happy to see Christine win.  She proved everyone wrong and she didn't just win this - she took it.  She didn't make errors, she didn't lower her game against any competition, and she showed up each and every day.  Very well deserved.

A good season overall.  I started out pretty critical this season when Douche Alarm Joe was going off every few seconds, but it actually turned out to be really good.  Full season recap coming soon.

Thanks for reading!