Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Pizza

Rarely does something come along that's so egregiously revolting that you'd rather sniff a bag of decomposing horse crap than risk the quadruple bypass you're likely to incur with said enigma.

Enter: The Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Pizza.

A concoction so greasy that Pizza the Hutt's arteries would clog themselves with pepperoni just from laying eyes upon it:

Remember in Lord of the Rings when Frodo or Boromir or whoever would fall into a trance with the ring? That's a lot like staring at the Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Pizza

I bought this because curiosity got the best of me. This sounded like something so disgusting yet so delicious that I just had to try it once. Fortunately, I have no desire to try it ever again. 

Is this thing any good? Well, yeah. Sometimes being bad feels really good. That's what the Little Caesar's Bacon Wrapped Pizza is all about. When you dance with this devil, all of your dieting and lifestyle restrictions go right out the window. It's eight slices of acne-inducing firepower baked onto the devil's pizza stone originating from the seventh layer of Hell.

Grease soaking through the cardboard


Hey, I can almost see myself in the reflection!

Would I recommend this? No. Absolutely not. What I would say is that it's something you can try once just to say that you did. Several people who partook in this pizza reported heartburn immediately after. I would think that explosive diarrhea followed considering how this pizza is probably the equivalent of an industrial-strength laxative. Is it so good that you have to have it again? Not really. Once is enough. 

Bottom line: