Monday, December 12, 2011

Top 5 Best Snacking Foods

Here's some food for thought: Okay, so, you know how PETA always releases those videos from slaughterhouses where someone goes in undercover and tapes the workers beating the crap out of the animals and whatnot?  I had a thought - how is it that all of these undercover people keep getting in?  I can just imagine the slaughterhouse curator: "Your whole family wants the grand tour of the slaughterhouse?  WHY SURE!  Lemme just get this pole out of this pig's butt and I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND!!!!"  But really, how do these people keep getting in?  You'd think a slaughterhouse would be a pretty restrictive place...

Anyway, onto my top 5 favorite snacks.  For this post I thought about the snacks I ate as a kid and still eat now and took into consideration taste (duh), how filling it is, and whether or not I've ever gotten tired of it.  If you know my eating habits, you'll know that I like to try new things.  I easily get tired of the same thing over and over, so I diversify as much as possible.  Josh in Madagascar, for example, would always order this thing called the California Chicken, no avocado, from the UT Grill.  It was basically a grilled chicken sandwich and he would buy it every time and every time I would ask him why he never got anything else.  And then he would troll me with something like "so I can hear you whine like a little bitch."  But anyway, onto the list.

1. Peanut Butter Crackers

For as long as I can remember I've always loved peanut butter crackers of any variety.  If I had to pick a particular favorite it would be Ritz and a peanut butter where you have to mix the oil in because I find those brands more flavorful.  But really - Saltines, Club, and everything in between works.  It's hard to screw up the awesomeness that is peanut butter and crackers.  I've been such a fan of these for so long that I remember Rolf Geezen's mom once gave me a box of those Austin brand peanut butter crackers for the holidays since whenever I'd go over to his house that's always what I'd go for.

2.  Scone

I never knew these things existed until I discovered the brilliance (for the most part) of Charlie's Best Bread.  A scone is basically a giant chocolate chip bread cookie thing.  They're big, they're sugary, and they're delicious.  Not to mention that they're satisfying and filling.

3.  Bowl of Strawberries

I've been a strawberry junkie since forever ago, but the problem is that these things are only in season a few months a year.  Yeah, you can purchase them year round, but rarely do you get the same flavor in December as you would in July.  You can also determine the flavor range of a box of strawberries by their scent.  If you put a box to your face and can't smell anything then that means the berries are no good.  If they have a scent then that means they have flavor, and the stronger the scent the better the flavor.  Don't be fooled by their looks - beautiful berries can taste like crap and crap berries can taste like awesome.  Check out this post for more information on strawberry preparation.

4.  Bugles

Up until recently I thought these things had long been discontinued but then they magically surfaced at Target and I now remember why they're so awesome.  They're not exactly chips but they're not exactly crackers.  They're in a league of their own.  They taste like Fritos and have more salt than the Pacific Ocean, but man these things are good.  As a kid they were terrific and now they're even better.

5.  Yocrunch Strawberry Yogurt topped with Chocolate Things

Easily the best product in the yogurt section and I'm pretty sure it's all but discontinued.  For a while this was the only thing I would eat in the mornings.  For some reason my body doesn't respond well to breakfast if I wake up early and haven't gotten X amount of hours of sleep.  It's weird.  And since I'm not really disciplined at getting to bed early, this would happen frequently.  Then I started eating this stuff for breakfast and it was incredible.  It tasted delicious, it woke me up, and it never gave me stomach issues.  I know what you're thinking - "Greg's Gourmet??? Yogurt???"  But this stuff is so packed with sugar and other junk it's more like a smoothie in yogurt form.


I received an e-mail from someone at YoCrunch informing me that the company no longer associates with Breyers, so that's why there's no more Strawberry Yogurt Topped with Chocolate Things.  But here's a picture of an item they do produce that you can get at your local grocery that tastes just as good:

See what happens when you get on my good side?  I advertise for you!

Thanks for reading!