Thursday, July 18, 2013

Hell's Kitchen, Season 11, Episode 20 Recap

Season 11, Episode 20 Recap

Gordon enjoys sucking on a lemon between takes

So we're down to four, and what an annoying four it is.  I can't believe this but Jon is actually the least annoying person there, even though he's annoying simply because he lacks a fun personality.  Ja'Nel is a loud-mouthed mega bitch with a pretty face.  Mary is just dumb and Cyndi must have a Rolodex of cliche phrases that she uses over and over.  Seriously, I know Hell's Kitchen is scripted quite a bit so you'd think the writers would at least give her some better things to say. 

I haven't watched it yet but I'm gonna say the finals will be Jon vs. Ja'Nel. 

Mary, telling the truth: "It sucks that you voted me up but I understand why."

Cyndi, puzzling: "A puzzle?  Seriously?  The last time I did a puzzle was, uh, actually not too long ago."

Puzzle challenge: Okay, they'll complete the puzzle and then have to cook the dish.  Yeah, who didn't see that one coming?

Jon, going with the beef, man: "I'm going with beef filet, man.  I'm confident that's what it is." Holding you to that, pal. 

Mary, disadvantaged: Did you ever notice that whenever Mary says she has an advantage or that she should win the challenge she never does?  

Ja'Nel, here's to hoping: "I'm really confident and I'm hoping that I got it right."  Wow, really, Ja'Nel?  I thought you were hoping that you got it wrong.  Boy was I way off!

Mary, she's just now embarrassed?: "I'm humiliated.  At this stage of the game it's embarrassing!"  Yeah, never mind all the other royal screwups you have, mixing up venison with lamb is the one that sets you off. 

Mary, I hope it's not hers: "Ewww someone's thong underwear here in the corner!"

"I'm going to demonstrate how to give yourself an enema using these two fingers."

The thing is, as much as I make fun of Cyndi for being an annoying female version of Captain Obvious, I think she'd actually do well in an executive chef position.  Mary I don't see it, Ja'Nel I think would annoy her staff, but Jon and Cyndi I think would do very well.  Jon is a shoo-in, but I'm not sure Cyndi has what it takes to overthrow Ja'Nel.  Definitely an underdog.  And I guess I'd rather listen to her cliches than Ja'Nel's loudass voice.

Cyndi, doesn't got this: "I got this, I got this shit alot!" as she's about to serve crab risotto instead of lobster.  Jeez, and I was just pulling for you, Cyndi. 

Cyndi, really funny troll: "Jon, you know we can't special order a no pork in the wellington. They're already pre-rolled!  You want us to, what, break one open and take out the prosciutto?  You serious?"  On the other hand, what kind of schmuck goes into a fine dining restaurant and asks for a pork wellington without the pork?  THAT'S JUST DOUGH THEN YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!  Fire that customer. 

So when it comes to running the brigade, Cyndi struck out with the quality control, Ja'Nel did pretty good, Jon struck out with quality control, and I'd rather shove raw scallops in my ear than listen to Mary scream like a beheaded orc during the battle of Helms Deep. 

Gordon, total liar: "Never before in the history of Hell's Kitchen have I had such a difficult time deciding who are the final two."  Yeah, my ass, Gordon.  It'll be Jon and Ja'Nel and you know it.

MARY IS IN THE FINALS??? WTFFFFFFFF?!?! She's so excited and she just can't hide it.  She can't believe she'd be in the finals AND NEITHER CAN I.

Her scream caused the lens to break right after this

And a TBC.  Blow me, Gordon.  But I will say that with a season of disappointments and poor quality, seeing an underdog like Mary in the finals is a bit refreshing.  I've been bashing her the whole season but hey, I like this.  Yeah, she does some odd things and is kinda creepy at times but she's worked hard.  And she seems like a nice girl at least.

So...there goes my prediction.  Jon or Ja'Nel?  Maybe both, who knows?