Karl Strauss Asada Fries - With Cheese Whiz?

So I've been on the "Passover Purge" for a week where I refused any form of bread, crackers, cake, etc. When we went to Karl Strauss last week I was kind of limited in what I could order but alas the "Asada Fries" jumped off the page to me.

On a plate they look quite attractive as you'll see here:

Pretty dish presentation for sure. You've got the steak, gorgonzola, avocado-chimichurri, cilantro, pickled onion, and chipotle ketchup...and house-made jalapeno cheese-whiz...

I dunno, dude. Cheese whiz? When I think of cheese-whiz I think of this:

To me this is, like, a cheap imitation cheese product, right? It's overly processed junk is what it is. So...what exactly is "homemade" cheese whiz? What does that comprise of? This is what I don't understand. It seems to me that utilizing cheese whiz over real cheese is a pretty lame way to save a few bucks. Overall it added an odd texture and peculiar taste to an otherwise solid dish. Karl Strauss boasts some really tasty fries and the steak was delicious as well. So why use cheese whiz? I don't know. I don't understand.

KARL STRAUSS

ASADA FRIES (WITH "HOMEMADE" CHEESE WHIZ)

ONE AND A HALF GARGANTOS

OUT OF FOUR

Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Pizza

Rarely does something come along that's so egregiously revolting that you'd rather sniff a bag of decomposing horse crap than risk the quadruple bypass you're likely to incur with said enigma.

Enter: The Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Pizza.

A concoction so greasy that Pizza the Hutt's arteries would clog themselves with pepperoni just from laying eyes upon it:

Remember in Lord of the Rings when Frodo or Boromir or whoever would fall into a trance with the ring? That's a lot like staring at the Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Pizza

I bought this because curiosity got the best of me. This sounded like something so disgusting yet so delicious that I just had to try it once. Fortunately, I have no desire to try it ever again. 

Is this thing any good? Well, yeah. Sometimes being bad feels really good. That's what the Little Caesar's Bacon Wrapped Pizza is all about. When you dance with this devil, all of your dieting and lifestyle restrictions go right out the window. It's eight slices of acne-inducing firepower baked onto the devil's pizza stone originating from the seventh layer of Hell.

Grease soaking through the cardboard

Again

Hey, I can almost see myself in the reflection!

Would I recommend this? No. Absolutely not. What I would say is that it's something you can try once just to say that you did. Several people who partook in this pizza reported heartburn immediately after. I would think that explosive diarrhea followed considering how this pizza is probably the equivalent of an industrial-strength laxative. Is it so good that you have to have it again? Not really. Once is enough. 

Bottom line:

LITTLE CAESARS BACON WRAPPED PIZZA

ONE AND A HALF GARGANTOS OUT OF FOUR

The Return of Hostess Chocodiles!

When Hostess initially went out of business in 2012, I saw the end of one of my favorite sweet snacks that I'd pick up on every supermarket trip: the Chocodile. Chocodiles are chocolate covered Twinkies and they're pretty much the greatest mass-produced sweet treat in the world and possibly the universe.

Hostess returned shortly thereafter when they were bought over by a Mexican conglomerate, but Chocodiles seemed absent from that revived lineup. Years went by and I never so much as laid eyes upon a single Chocodile...until recently at my local Ralphs when I found THIS box on the clearance rack:

WHERE THE HELL HAVE THESE THINGS BEEN???

My first thought was they had these sitting in back from the original Hostess crash four years ago, but that wouldn't make much sense. Plus, the "best by" date wouldn't be 2016. And no, Twinkies do not have apocalyptic expiration dates. In fact, their best by dates are typically only a month or so after their original shelf placement. Don't believe everything you hear; it's all lies. Especially on this blog hahaha.

Anyway...

Huh...Chocodiles kinda look like Nutella-coated turds...

...but I promise they're not. 

Glad to see these back.